I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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