We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
