margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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