dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
