I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
