Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
