If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
