I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
