On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
