I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
