Sponge bath it is.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize