12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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