i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize