so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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