evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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