would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
