Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The adults are the big ones right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
