i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
