Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize