Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
