Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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