I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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