i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
