google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
