If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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