Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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