Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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