Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We need to get me chipped asap
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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