There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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