Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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