Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
