just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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