blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
