life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she smelled like a LAN party
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize