dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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