the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
