well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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