Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
