Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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