still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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