Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
