That's intense
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you never un-have a 4some
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
