I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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