Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
