Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
