I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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