I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
