Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
