wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
