I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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