I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
