You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
