he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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