so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize