i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
