I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
