And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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