a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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