everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
