How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
