She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
