Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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