There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
