I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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