I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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