My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
