You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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