"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
