No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
