I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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