Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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