I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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