Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
