Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
