awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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