White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
