It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize