why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
