Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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