My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
