This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
