I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
