never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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