you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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