so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
