Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
