I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
