dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
